Tuesday, February 08, 2005

a sorta fairytale with you...

well england... that was the WORST four weeks ever...

thinking back on it, it was really unbelievably bad... but im sure something positive has come out of it... but who cares? right now im happily on my way to the states for a bit, (i know, who ever thought i would be saying that...)

as several people have pointed out, i guess i really cant blame it on the town. york is, afterall, good for what it is (small town, everyone is in everyone elses BIZ-NESS). and just how much can all this craziness be blamed on the break up? i would tend to attribute a lot, but perhaps its more symptomatic of something else than it is responsible for it. either way, i think this is the last time ill be talking about it, figure there is some packed baggage best left behind.

but unanswered questions are popping up like toadstools... what to do next year? phd is in the works... but funding? maybe working? and where? york seems to be less and less likely as time goes on... but its all pretty disheartening... was really hoping that maybe this time i wouldnt have to move again. devil of my own design? perhaps... but should i continue trying to break the habit or perhaps just accept it and see where it goes for awhile? i really think that that is what brought about the funk im currently in. its always hard when you arent able to get what you want/need...

i know what youre saying, ive heard it more times than i can shake a stick at...

'oh but matt, you are young and the world is your oyster. when youre old youll look back on the time you could have gone to (insert place here) and wish you had...'

meh. MEH i say! remember, sometimes only the lining is silver.

but nevermind! whats most important now is im taking a break from all this and maybe finding something i left behind in the states...

ill let you know what it is when i get back on the 19th.

-M


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